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For my brothers Carl and (Johann) Beethoven,

O ye men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn or misanthropic, how greatly do ye wrong me, you do not know the secret causes of my seeming, from childhood my heart and mind were disposed to the gentle feelings of good will, I was even ever eager to accomplish great deeds, but reflect now that for six years I have been a hopeless case, aggravated by senseless physicians, cheated year after year in the hope of improvement, finally compelled to face the prospect of a lasting malady (whose cure will take years or, perhaps, be impossible), born with an ardent and lively temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of society, I was compelled early to isolate myself, to live in loneliness, when I at times tried to forget all this, O how harshly was I repulsed by the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing, and yet it was impossible for me to say to men speak louder, shout, for I am deaf.

Ah how could I possibly admit such an infirmity in the one sense which should have been more perfect in me than in others, a sense which I once possessed in highest perfection, a perfection such as few surely in my profession enjoy or have enjoyed - O I cannot do it, therefore forgive me when you see me draw back when I would gladly mingle with you, my misfortune is doubly painful because it must lead to my being misunderstood, for me there can be no recreations in society of my fellows, refined intercourse, mutual exchange of thought, only just as little as the greatest needs command may I mix with society.

I must live like an exile, if I approach near to people a hot terror seizes upon me, a fear that I may be subjected to the danger of letting my condition be observed - thus it has been during the past year which I spent in the country, commanded by my intelligent physician to spare my hearing as much as possible, in this almost meeting my natural disposition, although I sometimes ran counter to it yielding to my inclination for society, but what a humiliation when one stood beside me and heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of despair, but little more and I would have put an end to my life - only art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence - truly wretched, an excitable body which a sudden change can throw from the best into the worst state - Patience - it is said that I must now choose for my guide, I have done so, I hope my determination will remain firm to endure until it please the inexorable Parcae to bread the thread, perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not, I am prepared.

Forced already in my 28th year to become a philosopher, O it is not easy, less easy for the artist than for anyone else - Divine One thou lookest into my inmost soul, thou knowest it, thou knowest that love of man and desire to do good live therein. O men, when some day you read these words, reflect that ye did me wrong and let the unfortunate one comfort himself and find one of his kind who despite all obstacles of nature yet did all that was in his power to be accepted among worthy artists and men.

You my brothers Carl and [Johann] as soon as I am dead if Dr. Schmid is still alive ask him in my name to describe my malady and attach this document to the history of my illness so that so far as possible at least the world may become reconciled with me after my death. At the same time I declare you two to be the heirs to my small fortune (if so it can be called), divide it fairly, bear with and help each other, what injury you have done me you know was long ago forgiven.

To you brother Carl I give special thanks for the attachment you have displayed towards me of late. It is my wish that your lives be better and freer from care than I have had, recommend virtue to your children, it alone can give happiness, not money, I speak from experience, it was virtue that upheld me in misery, to it next to my art I owe the fact that I did not end my life with suicide.

Farewell and love each other - I thank all my friends, particularly Prince Lichnowsky and Professor Schmid - I desire that the instruments from Prince L. be preserved by one of you but let no quarrel result from this, so soon as they can serve you better purpose sell them, how glad will I be if I can still be helpful to you in my grave - with joy I hasten towards death - if it comes before I shall have had an opportunity to show all my artistic capacities it will still come too early for me despite my hard fate and I shall probably wish it had come later - but even then I am satisfied, will it not free me from my state of endless suffering? Come when thou will I shall meet thee bravely.

Farewell and do not wholly forget me when I am dead, I deserve this of you in having often in life thought of you how to make you happy, be so ---

Heiglnstadt,

October 6th, 1802

Ludwig van Beethoven

路德维格·范·贝多芬(1770-1827) 德国作曲家，他是从古典音乐向浪漫主义音乐过渡时期最杰出的作曲家，也是人类历史上最伟大的艺术家之一。他有着卓越的音乐天赋、炽热的叛逆气质和巨人般顽强不屈的个性。他一生命运坎坷，1801年开始失去听力，到1819年完全耷了。对视音乐为生命的贝多芬来说，没有什么比这更沉重的打击了，但他依然顽强地同命运斗争。本文是他在海格伦斯塔德对他兄弟们立下的遗嘱，其中向他们诉说了了愈来愈无法掩盖的病情和他耳聋后的绝望和痛苦。作者后来在1824和1827年，也是他去世的那年又分别立了两份遗嘱。

海格伦斯塔德遗嘱

路德维格·范·贝多芬

我的兄弟卡尔和(约翰)贝多芬，

噢，兄弟们，你们说我心存怨恨、固执又愤世嫉俗，你们对我的误解是多么深啊!你们不知道我外表背后隐藏的苦衷。自幼我性情温纯善良，甚至也渴望着想做一番大事业。可是你们不想想，六年了，我都处在绝望中，愚蠢的医生使我的病情更重，年复一年，我盼着身体能好转，可是总是希望落空，最终被迫面对终身残疾的命运(治好这种病需要很多年，或者也可能永远治不好)。我天性热情、活跃，喜欢社交，可是如今年纪轻轻却被迫离群索居，与世隔绝。我耳朵聋了，我也不能因为我是聋子而要求别人大声对我说话，或是对我喊!每当我想忘记我所有的不幸时，这双倍的痛苦体验总是冷酷地把我拒绝。

啊!你叫我怎么能让别人知道我的听觉出了问题了呢!我的听觉理应比别人要更灵敏的多啊!而且以前它是完美的，我同行们几乎没人有或者曾经有过那样完美的听觉!啊，我做不到!所以，当你们看到我避开不与你们说话时，请原谅我，其实我很想与你们说话。我的病必然会引起别人对我的误解，这让我倍加痛苦。对我来说，我再也不能享受那种朋友们在一起交流、切磋思想的乐趣了，而且除非实在免不了，我总是避免和外界接触。

我不得不活着像个流放的人，要是我接近人群，恐惧就会涌上心头，唯恐别人发现我病情。 半年来我就是这样过来的。一位高明的医生让我尽量避免使用听觉，而也差不多正合我愿，所以这半年来我一直呆在乡下。不过，有时我也会违背医嘱，忍不住想与别人交往，但是，当我旁边的人听到远处的笛声而我却什么都听不到，或是别人听到牧羊人的歌声而我又什么都听不到的时候，那是怎样一种屈辱的感觉啊!这些事情让我濒临崩溃，要不是对艺术的渴求制止了我，我差不多就要结束我的生命了。我知道没把我命里所有的作品都创造出来，我是不可能离开这个世界的，所以我忍受这痛苦的生活，真的痛苦啊!我的身体容易激动，突然有一点变化，就会一下子从最好变成最坏。我必须选择忍耐，别人这么说，我也这么做了。希望我有足够坚定的意志来承受苦难，直到无情的死神割断我的生命之线的那天。也许我的病会好转，也许不会，对此我都是有心理准备的。

28年了，我不得不看空一切，啊，这并不容易，特别是对一位艺术家来说。神啊，您深知我的心，您知道我对人类抱有热爱，渴望造福于别人，啊，人啊!要是有一天你们读到这些，别忘了你们曾经对我不公平;但愿不幸的人，在看到他的一位同类不顾所有现实的障碍而竭尽全力成功跻身于优秀的艺术家与人才之列时，能得到些许的慰籍。

你们，我的兄弟卡尔，约翰，我死后，要是史密脱教授还活着的话, 以我的名义请他详细描述我的病情和患病过程，再加上现在这封信，这样至少让世人在我死后或许能最大程度地重新理解我。同时我宣布你们是我微薄财产(如果它可以称为财产的话)的继承人，请公平分配，请你们患难与共。至于你们给我的伤害，你们知道我很早就释怀了。

卡尔，弟弟，特别感谢你近来对我关照，愿你们的生活比我幸福，烦恼比我少。请教会孩子们“道德”的力量，使人幸福的是道德而不是金钱，这是我的亲身体验。在痛苦中支撑我的是道德，我之所以没有走极端，除了艺术，其次我就要归功于道德。

别了，愿你们相亲相爱。我感谢我所有的朋友们，特别是李赫诺斯基亲王和史密特教授。我希望你们俩中的一个能替我保管李赫诺斯基亲王的乐器，但切勿因此发生任何争执。当你们需要时请尽管卖掉它，如果我在九泉之下仍然还能对你们有所帮助，我会多么高兴啊! 我将坦然迎接死神，但如果在没有发挥出我全部的艺术才能之前死去，我觉得太早了，尽管命运坎坷，我恐怕还是希望那一天晚一点到来。不过，即使早死，我也会心满意足的，这样不就能把我从无尽的苦难中解脱出来吗?你们想什么时候来就来吧，我会鼓气勇气见你们的。

再见了，请不要在我死后把我忘光了，你们不该这样做，因为我在世时是如此常常想念你们，想着如何让你们开心。

愿你们幸福。